A Retail Bloodbath

I’m pushing a heavy cart of stock in a large superstore. A bunch of young guys ask if I can get something from the locked electronics case for them.

Me: “I’ll call someone to meet you there.”

Customer #1: “Oh, you can’t do it?”

Me: “I don’t work in electronics, and I don’t have the key, but I can call someone over who does.”

Customer #2: *To [Customer #1].* “She’s probably not qualified on electronics because she’s a girl.”

Apparently, this is the funniest thing that has ever been said, as the guys all start laughing and holding their sides.

Customer #3: “Yeah, or she’s probably on her period!”

More laughing, ignoring the fact that if that were the case I’d be much happier working electronics instead of carting hundreds of pounds of stock around the store.

Still, never one to not join in on a good time:

Me: “Actually, I AM on my period. And it’s not a light flow, let me tell ya! It’s all clotted and running out of me like the elevator from The Shining! I keep thinking it’s over and nope… just a break in the flow. I must have gone through fifty pads this cycle! Man, let me tell you these cramps are KILLING ME! Do any of you guys have a pad? A bar of chocolate? I could really use a new pair of underwear, know what I’m sayin’, guys?”

They couldn’t run away fast enough.