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A Regular Ol’ Scumbag

, , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2020

I work in a bookstore where I am on cafe duty with a coworker, a teenage girl with very red hair. I am behind the counter while she buses tables and checks on customers. A regular, a middle-aged man who has always given off creepy vibes, is sitting by himself, “writing his novel” on his laptop. As my coworker passes him, he says something to her, and she immediately turns red and hurries behind the counter.

Me: “Did [Regular] say something rude?”

Coworker: “He asked me if my carpet matched my drapes.”

Me: “I am going to call the manager.”

Coworker: “Please don’t. The last time I complained, [Manager #1] told me I needed to toughen up, and [Manager #2] just shrugged and said he’d never said anything to her, so…”

Me: “Well, [Manager #3] is on duty tonight; let’s at least try.”

She goes in the back to call the manager and explains the situation. I keep on behind the counter with one eye on the regular. [Manager #3] comes up within ten minutes with murder in their eyes.

Manager #3: “Good evening, [Regular]! I am given to understand you were very rude to one of my employees?”

Regular: “She’s lying.”

Manager #3: “I don’t think she is; she told me that you asked her an extremely rude and inappropriate question.”

Regular: *Uncomfortably* “Little tattletale can’t take a joke.”

Manager #3: “You need to leave my store right now.”

Regular: “I’m here several times a week, and I buy things every time I’m here. I’m a member! You can’t afford to lose my business!”

Manager #3: “Oh, you’re a member? I had no idea. May I see your card, please, sir?”

The regular smugly takes out his membership card and hands it over. [Manager #3] looks at it, and then grabs a pair of scissors off the counter and cuts it in half.

Regular: “What the h***?”

Manager #3: “You are no longer a member, and you are no longer welcome in this store. I don’t need customers like you. And I am going to send your name and a description of what just happened to membership services and ensure that you will never be a member again. Get. Out.”

He left, clutching his laptop and swearing he’d “take this to the highest authority.” We never saw him again. The manager got written up for losing the store a valuable customer but said it was worth it.

This story is part of our Best Of November 2020 roundup!

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