A Rash Diagnosis

(I am told a story from when my mother was 14 years old. My grandfather is a doctor, and has a quirky sense of humor. People often don’t know if he’s kidding or not. My mother has a rash. Naturally, she goes to him to see what it is and what to do about it.)

Grandfather: “Oh, my God! What is that?!”

Mother: “What? What?”

Grandfather: “Honey, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you only have six months to live.”

Mother: “What?!”

Grandfather: *laughing* “Nah, I’m just kidding. It’s a rash. I’ll give you some ointment for it. It’ll be gone in a few days.”

(My mother bursts into tears and runs from the room. You’d think he would have learned his lesson, but 20 years later, he managed to convince my sister that her heat rash was really ‘monkeypox’ and casually told her there was no cure for it. Thankfully, he doesn’t talk to his real patients that way!)