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A Rapid Descent Into Geeky Madness

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 10, 2023

I’m going whitewater rafting with my fiancée. We don’t have enough people to fill a raft, so we’re combined with another group. We also have an experienced guide along with us to guide us through the rafting. We have just gone over a class-four rapid, and the guide is checking in on us after we clear the rapids.

Guide: “Is everyone good back there?”

Man: “I’m more chaotic evil, really.”

Guide: “Oookay…”

Fiancée: “Well, you don’t need to worry about us; we’re both lawful good murder hobos.”

Guide: “The term ‘murder hobo’ doesn’t exactly sound like something I don’t need to worry about.”

Man: “Oh, it means that they justify slaughtering people and stealing their stuff by first declaring the people they want to slaughter evil based on their preconceived notion of the inherent moral superiority of various races.”

Me: “As God intended!”

Fiancée: “And by ‘God’ you mean ‘Gary Gygax’?

Me: “Exactly!”

Guide: “Okay, so I have no clue what you all are talking about. Just let me know if I should be calling the police right now, or…”

Fiancée: “It’s a reference to Dungeons & Dragons. No one is actually being murdered, I promise you.”

Man: “Hey, speak for yourself! The joy of being chaotic evil is that a spontaneous murder spree is always a potential option for you.

Me: “It’s okay. My fiancée can always smite evil on him if he gets out of hand.”

Man: “I don’t know… She might fall due to association with me before she gets a chance.”

Guide: “So, I think I’m going to just pretend I know what you all are talking about and it’s normal from now on?”

Me: “Good plan.”

And so proceeded a fun trip of alternating desperately paddling through rapids with increasingly geeky conversations at the utter bafflement of our poor, insufficiently geeky guide during the downtime.

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