A Rant Before The Grumble Before The Complaint

(Whenever the restaurant where I used to work received a letter of complaint, the manager used to hang it up with the important points highlighted. In one case, this was understandable. Although several points of the writer were right, the letter was written very poorly and made us more laugh than take it seriously.)

Letter: ‘Dear sir. A while ago I visited your restaurant and ate a wok-cooked meal. After that I had intestinal complaints for a while. I won’t go over the quality of the meal.’

(All right, but why is this our fault? If it is, please explain and how did you find out? If there is no explanation, for all we know it might be a coincidence.)

Letter: *continued* “About nine pm I went back into the buffet. The restaurant was still open, but that doesn’t keep the young [female form of workers] from screaming at each other, while the floor was wet, and to throw with the cutlery.”

(So… apparently shouting is okay as long as the floor isn’t wet? I also wondered why he used a female form of “workers,”  since the behaviour more sounded like some male coworkers I knew. I guess the guy wrote down “workers” in a quite literal sense (instead of “employees”), which his autocorrect turned into a female form, meaning as much as “cleaning ladies”.)

Letter: *cont.* “A few weeks later I came here again. I had a foreign guest with me. He had a pizza and a plate of salad, and I had a chicken breast. He says that the salad wasn’t fresh and he didn’t like his pizza and left half of it untouched.”

(The salad was made fresh every day, and concerning the pizza: again, why would this be our fault? Especially since you didn’t mention it to us back then.)

Letter: ‘When later, I walked back into the buffet, I saw that people were already cleaning part of the metal plates, while there was still meat on the plates. I don’t think this is hygienic behaviour [sic] and this is why I want to make a complaint.’

(Oh, wait. THAT was the complaint. So all the other grumbling was just… decoration?)