A Quick-Fire Response

, , , , , | Right | April 22, 2019

(I am working at the customer service desk when the phone rings:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] customer service. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I have a complaint. Are you a manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m not a manager but I can call for one. Could you hold?”

Caller: “No, you’re just going to hang up on me. Some b**** at the service desk told me that I can’t do any more returns. That’s bulls***!”

Me: “That’s odd. Did she say why?”

Caller: “I didn’t have a receipt. But I’ve done it before!”

Me: “In order to do a return without a receipt, we need your ID for our records. If you do three non-receipt returns in a rolling six-month period, the system flags your ID and puts a hold on it for ninety days. We can—“

Caller: “That’s so f****** stupid.”

Me: “Sir, I would appreciate it if you stopped swearing at me.”

Caller: *mocking* “Oh. Okay. I’ll stop swearing.”

Me: “Now, I am not a manager but I can—“

Caller: “I want that girl fired!”

Me: “I don’t have the authority to do that, but I can take some basic information and have a manager call you back, or I can put you on hold and get a manager now.”

Caller: “I want to hear you tell that snotty b**** that she is fired!”

Me: “Again, I do not have that authority. Beyond that, I don’t know which associate you’re talking about.”

Caller: “Well, find out!”

Me: “Do you remember anything about the associate or the time you were here?”

Caller: “That’s not my job!”

Me: *fed up* “Okay. Can I put you on hold to get a manager?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “Can I take your information and have a manager call back?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “What would you like me to do, sir?”

Caller: “DO SOMETHING!”

Me: “Okay.” *to the wall beside me* “Hey! You’re fired!” *to the customer* “Is that okay, sir?”

Caller: “Finally!” *hangs up*

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