A Pie In The Sky Plan For A Refund

(I am the cashier in this situation. An older lady, probably about 60 or so, comes to my register when I am about to block it off and go to lunch. Since she only has one item, I let her come through my line, and put up the chain at the end of my lane. We are well-known for our fresh-made pies in the bakery, and this customer has a pie box with an obviously empty and cleaned pie tin inside.)

Me: “What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I bought one of your apple pies here last week for a dinner party and it was horrible! You must’ve used spoiled apples or something!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Is the pie expired?”

(I check the tag and find that its expiration date is three weeks away.)

Customer: “Yes, don’t you see? It’s expired, and I want my money back, and a free replacement.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am, but the pie isn’t expired.”

Customer: “Well, it must have been; it was terrible!”

Me: “Where is the rest of the pie?”

(Normally, customers bring in their half-eaten food to show us the problem.)

Customer: “Oh, my husband and I ate it.”

Me: “The whole pie?”

Customer: “Yes. I couldn’t let the pie go to waste, could I?”