A Photo-Perfect Finish

(I have just left a gas station after buying a coffee and pastry and I am heading to my job across the street. A man stops me in the parking lot as I hear towards the cross walk.)

Man: “Hey, is she working?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Man: “I said is she working?”

Me: “I’m sorry, is who working?”

Man: “That woman!”

Me: “Um, well, it’s a man working right now, so…”

Man: “But is SHE in there?! For f*** sake, are you stupid?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know who you’re talking about and I have to go to work.”

Man: “The one who was working yesterday! With the brown hair, the fat b**** who looks like a [homophobic slur].”

(I realize he’s asking about the manager, whom I did not see this morning, but he is so rude I decide not to help him.)

Me: “Sir, I don’t know who you mean. I don’t work here.”

Man: “Oh, you don’t work here?”

Me: “No, I work across the street at [Hotel] and I have to go.”

Man: “Well, that dumb broad in there kicked me out yesterday morning, said I can’t come back. She had the nerve to accuse me of stealing. I should sue her, sue them all! I never steal from nobody!”

Me: “Well, sir, all I can tell you is they have dozens of cameras inside the store so if you really didn’t steal, by all means sue them and tell them to bring up the camera footage.”

Man: “Uh… cameras?”

Me: “Yes, cameras. Security cameras. They have dozens of them. Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to work.”

(I walk away and as I’m crossing the street he calls out.)

Man: “Yeah, well, I have cameras, too, you know!”