A Perfect Motherly Storm
(I work at a popular home decor shop. An older woman comes in, and I make my way to greet her. It’s a sweltering day outside.)
Me: “Good afternoon, welcome!”
Customer: “It’s hardly good out. It’s boiling outside!”
Me: “I know; it’s miserable. I hate the hot weather.”
(The woman looks shocked and thrilled. She starts eyeing me up and down, appraisingly.)
Customer: “You do?”
Me: “Yup. I’m more of a winter girl. I love the snow.”
(At this point, the woman’s eyes grow huge and round, and she starts to bounce up and down a little.)
Customer: “Are you married?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Are. You. Married?”
Me: “Um, no, but I do live with my boyfriend.”
Customer: “Perfect! You should meet my son!”
Me: “I’m flattered, but like I said, I live with my boy—”
Customer: “He lives in Michigan! It snows there!”
Me: “That’s great for him, but I don’t plan on moving. And like I said, I have a—”
Customer: “He’s coming over for dinner tonight! You should come over!”
(At this point, I make up an excuse and hand her off to another customer. She leaves without buying anything. A few hours later, she comes back in. I’m the only free salesperson at this point, and as it’s corporate policy, I have no choice but to greet her.)
Me: “Hello again, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you—”
Customer: “Yes!”
(She pulls out her wallet, and grabs a photo of her son from it.)
Customer: “He’s famous! He’s a weatherman!”
Me: “Again, ma’am, that’s great, but like I said, I have a boyfriend, and I don’t know your son.”
Customer: “But he lives in Michigan!”
Me: “Ma’am, is there anything I can help you shop for?”
Customer: “Dinner is at seven! You should come by! He’d love you! You look so nice!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t come to dinner. I live with my boyfriend, and I don’t think he’d like that.”
Customer: “…but you said you like snow!”
(She finally gave up, but she kept moping around the store and shooting me morose looks. I felt so terrible for her son!)
This story is part of the second Heatwave roundup!
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