A PB&J At Home Is Nice, Too
I visited a local sandwich shop the other day that has a tendency for odd things to happen every time I go there. In fact, I am almost 100% sure that the location is always chaotic whether I am there or not.
As soon as I walked in, I was greeted with the following conversation.
Sandwich Artist: “A Cold Cut, on which bread?”
Customer: “Footlong.”
Sandwich Artist: “Footlong, on which bread?”
Customer: “Footlong…”
Sandwich Artist: “Yes, sir, on which bread?”
Customer: “FOOTLONG!”
Sandwich Artist: “What… On what. Bread. Sir?”
Customer: “FOOTLONG! What’s so hard to understand?!”
Sandwich Artist: “Sir, what bread?”
She went on to list all of the breads they had, and the customer looked confused.
Customer: “What happened to the footlong?! Do you not have it anymore?!”
Sandwich Artist: “What?!”
Customer: “I want footlong!”
Sandwich Artist: “Sir, ‘footlong’ is not a bread type!”
Customer: “What?
Sandwich Artist: “A footlong is a twelve-inch sandwich. Footlong is the size of the sandwich.”
There was an uncomfortably long pause.
Customer: “What’s the normal bread?”
Sandwich Artist: “Artisan Italian?”
Customer: “I don’t know! The normal one!”
The sandwich artist held up a loaf of white bread.
Customer: “YES!”
Sandwich Artist: “Okay, this is called an Artisan Italian loaf. You can also say ‘white bread’ in the future.”
Customer: “Okay!”
Sandwich Artist: “Okay… Okay…”
Customer: “And I need the second sandwich on the ziggy bread.”
Sandwich Artist: “…the… what?”
Customer: “The one that looks like a placemat.”
Sandwich Artist: “Gotcha. That one I understood. Okay. For the first sandwich, what kind of cheese do you want?”
Customer: “Pastrami!”
Sandwich Artist: “Provolone?”
Customer: “Oh…. Yeah, pastrami is the meat, isn’t it?”
Sandwich Artist: “Yes.”
Customer: “You know what? Just make both sandwiches exactly like the pictures so we can both move on with our lives.”
Sandwich Artist: “That I can do.”
He tipped $10.
The employee had to take a break in the walk-in freezer.
Question of the Week
What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?
