A Pain In The Head And An Itch In The You-Know-What

The particular client has been a headache for her entire case, which is unfortunate, seeing as her auto accident settled before her worker’s comp case.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Law Firm]! This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Client: “I want to speak to my g**d*** attorney, right f****** now!”

Me: “I do apologize, but first, I will not permit you to verbally abuse me. Secondly, [Boss’s Partner] is out of the office today due to the recent outbreak and his wife being severely immunocompromised. I can schedule you for April 1st.”

Yes, the importance of that date escapes me.

Client: “I won’t accept that. I have two flat tires, my daughter has lice, schools are out, and I have an itchy f****** vagina! You a**holes are sitting on ten grand of my money and I want to drive down and get it now!”

I’m stunned, and I automatically speak in a customer service voice.

Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Client: “I said, I have an itchy f****** vagina!”

Me: “Right, so I can schedule that call to speak with [Boss’s Partner] on April 1st. Will 11:00 am work for you?”

Fortunately, after three days of her calling and being verbally abusive and inappropriate, my boss called her and got her some of her money!