A Novel Use Of The Navel

(I’m about three years old at this time. My preschool teacher and a family friend are pregnant around the same time.)

Me: “Mommy, how does baby get in tummies?”

Mom: “When a man and a woman get married, God will give them a baby.”

Me: “Okay.”

(A few days later.)

Me: “How does a baby get out of the tummy?”

Mom: *slightly surprised* “There’s a special spot on a woman’s body.”

Me: “Okay.”

(A few days later…)

Me: “Where’s that special spot? Is it the belly button?”

Mom: “You know what? What about we go get some ice cream?”

(I thought the baby came out of the belly button for the next seven years…)