A Moderately Terrifying Cycle

, , , | Legal | March 27, 2020

My dad is a big fan of bikes; he’s the kind of guy who has three bikes on the wall and is still searching eBay for a deal on more bikes. One day, he has gone to the local bike shop near our house to get one of his bikes fixed. He loads his bike back into the back of his truck and the repair guy asks if he wants to do a survey. My dad agrees.

After five minutes, he returns outside to find his truck has been busted open and his bike missing. He asks the bike shop guy if they have security cameras and they say no. Desperate, he goes to the biltong shop next door. (Biltong is South African snack food; it’s like dried meat sticks.)

After asking the guy if he has cameras, the man asks what was stolen. After my dad explains, the guy tells him to say he was in the biltong store instead of the bike shop, and then the guy calls someone. A few minutes later, a very buff man comes in and asks my dad what was stolen. My dad explains that his bike was stolen while he was in the shop and the owner tells the buff guy that they have a deal and they don’t steal stuff from customers of his store.

They argue for a bit and then the buff guy makes a call. Then, another guy shows up with my dad’s bike. The buff guy then asks my dad if he wants to beat this guy because he broke the rules! My dad says he just wants his bike back and, after a few rounds of, “Someone has to,” and, “Are you sure?” he hands my dad his bike. The buff guy says that the bike looks very expensive and he thinks he deserves a “reward” for getting it back.

The shop owner starts talking about their deal and the buff guy leaves. My dad takes his bike and goes home. In short, my dad accidentally discovered that our local biltong shop pays off criminals so they don’t steal from customers.

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