A Meaty Proposition

(I work at a sub shop for about a year, where customers may have the employees customize their sandwich as it being made. A customer and presumably his girlfriend come in when it’s slow.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m hungry.”

Me: “Yes, sir, what would you like?”

Customer: “Is this the stuff I can get?”

(Gestures to the pans of food laid out for assembly.)

Me: “Yes, sir, and here are the types of bread.”

Customer: “Cool. I want wheat, and all the meats.”

Me: “All of them?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want all of these.”

Me: “That’s going to be very expensive.”

Customer: “Why?”

(I don’t make the sandwich, instead calculating what the whole single sandwich would cost with every additional meat including steak, chicken, bacon, ham, salami, bologna, turkey, and tuna. Something like twenty five bucks. Once he hears that, he looks at me like I was eating live scorpions and shoos his lady-friend right out of the door.)

Manager: *rubbing his temples* “I’m so glad I retire next month.”