A Marriage Of Convenience

(My boyfriend and I are watching a show. A character is telling another character about the benefits of marriage: streamlined paperwork, ease of passing through customs, and (of course) tax breaks. We have had similar discussions in the past.)

Boyfriend: *laughing* “It’s so true!”

Me: “Yes, those are basically the sorts of reasons we would get married if we ever get married.”

Boyfriend: “Plus it would make it harder for you to leave me if I get really fat!”

Me: “Aaaaaand vice versa.”

Boyfriend: *in a small, quiet voice* “What have I done?”