A Loud Private Matter

(My family is going to a baseball game hours from our home. Originally we decide to drive home, but it’s quite a bit later than we thought it’d be so we try to find a hotel with availability. We find a nice looking place and decide to call. My mom is paranoid about random people having her number, so she sets the call to private.)

Receptionist: “IF YOU CALL THIS NUMBER ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR I WILL HAVE THE COPS TRACK YOU DOWN AND LOCK YOUR SICK-A** UP! KILL YOURSELF, YOU F***ING CREEP!” *click*

(My mom is horrified, but my dad explains that the hotel likely gets some scary calls from private numbers, and tells her to try calling back without the number private.)

Receptionist: *sweetly* “Thank you so much for calling [Hotel]. This is [Receptionist]. How might I be of service to you tonight?”

Mom: “…I’d like to know if you have any availability?”

Receptionist: *still sweetly* “I’m so sorry, we are completely booked. I recommend [Other Hotel]. They called earlier stating they still had rooms. Thank you for calling, and again, my apologies! Have a great night!”

(My mom has since stopped calling any businesses using *67!)