A Lobster Mobster

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Cruelty

Our grocery store has a live lobster tank. A lady approaches me indicating that she would like to buy some lobsters. There is a language barrier, but I’m trying my best to figure out what she wants. I pull a lobster out of the tank.

Customer: “No, needs more feathers!”

Me: “Okay, how about this one?”

Customer: “NO, FEATHERS!”

Lobsters have variations on feathers based on being male or female and males usually have small spiked horns between the feathers.

Me: “Would you like a male or a female?”

Customer: “REDDERS!” *Proceeds to spell R-E-D*

Me: “Oh, you want one with a red belly.”

I go through every lobster in the tank, with her grabbing at them and setting them in the child seat of her cart.

Me: “Ma’am, could we please leave the lobsters in the tank until you decide on one? Oh, dear.”

Two lobsters proceed to drop to the floor and crack their shells!

Customer: “I don’t want these. They’re broken.”

Apparently, she comes in every week.