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A Likely Story, Buddy Boy

, , , , , , , | Legal | January 16, 2021

I work in a big box store. As with many of these stores, we have a Loss Prevention Officer — someone in plain clothes, not a uniform, whose job it is to keep an eye out for theft and shoplifters.

One day, I am called upstairs to the manager’s room. Our LPO has caught a teenager attempting to steal several items, and, per store policy, they need an employee to sit with the LPO and the would-be thief while we await the police.

The young man is quite upset and is begging and pleading with the LPO to not call the police.

Young Man: “I’m a good kid ordinarily! This was just a momentary lapse in judgment! I’ve never done anything like this before, and I swear I never will again!”

The LPO and I both stare at him, unable to understand why he would even attempt this as a defense with the two items he attempted to steal lying on the table in front of him.

The items in question? A crowbar and bolt cutters.