A Laundry List Of Demands

I work in an office that is recruiting a full-time cleaner. A lady comes for the job. She seems a bit bizarre, but we hire her anyway, as we are desperate to find someone for the position ASAP.

My company pays on the fifth of every month, but she says this is not good for her and she wants to be paid either weekly or bi-weekly. After a quick discussion with HR, we decide that we can split her payment in two — on the first and on the fifteenth of each month. The lady agrees. 

She’s been employed for about five weeks — during which time many, many awkward things have happened, to the point that everyone is avoiding her — when she walks into the office, furious.

Cleaner: “I haven’t been paid yet!”

Me: “Wait, what? I personally saw that a payment for you was made on the first, as agreed.”

Cleaner: “No! You’re stealing my money! Payday is fifth, today is fifth, no money!”

Me: “Yes, you got paid on the first. Just like you got paid on the fifteenth last month, remember? Did you not get the money? Maybe you should call your bank and check it out?”

Cleaner: *Yelling* “I GOT THE MONEY ON FIRST, AND I GOT THE PREVIOUS ON FIFTEENTH, WHERE IS THE ONE ON THE FIFTH?”

Me: “So… you already got paid your full salary and you want more?”

Cleaner: *Yelling* “YES, I ONLY GOT ONE SALARY, NOT THE SECOND. ALSO, I DID NOT GET MY YEARLY BONUS. I KNOW YOU GUYS ALL TOOK YOUR BONUSES BUT FOR ME, NOTHING! FOR ME, ALWAYS NOTHING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we only pay one salary. As per your contract. And you did not get a yearly bonus because you began your employment two days before the bonuses were distributed. You need to be an employee for at least three months to be eligible.”

Cleaner: “This is the worst company I’ve ever worked for! I’m suing!”

She stormed off and slammed the door.