A Jumbo A**hole

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2019

(I work in the meat and seafood section of my store. This week, two-pound bags of medium shrimp are on sale. Large and jumbo shrimp are regular price. A customer walks up from the front of the store holding a receipt and a bag of jumbo shrimp.)

Customer: “Hey, these are supposed to be on sale, but they just charged me full price.”

(He holds up his receipt and points to the entry for jumbo shrimp.)

Me: “That kind isn’t on sale this week, sir. Only the medium shrimp are on sale and you’ve got the jumbo right there.”

Customer: “But it says they’re on sale in the ad.”

Me: “No, it says medium are on sale. Not this kind.”

Customer: “No, it does say shrimp are on sale!”

(I grab an ad flyer off the corner of the counter and flip to the seafood sales page. I point to the part that says, “medium.”)

Me: “See right here? It says, ‘medium shrimp,’ on sale.”

(The customer points to the word “shrimp” next to the word “medium.”)

Customer: “It says, ‘shrimp.’”

Me: “It says, ‘medium shrimp.’”

Customer: “But it says, ‘shrimp’!”

Me: “It says one particular kind of shrimp, not all of them.”

Customer: “BUT IT SAYS, ‘SHRIMP’!”

Me: “One kind of shrimp can be on sale without all of them being on sale!”

Customer: “THAT’S TOO CONFUSING! IT SAYS, ‘SHRIMP,’ SO I WANT SHRIMP!”

Me: *face-palming* “You’re welcome to wait until these are on sale again, sir.”

(He slams the bag down on the ground, causing it to break open and send shrimp flying all over the floor before walking away.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that all about?”

Me: “Apparently, he felt entitled to a sale that doesn’t exist because he doesn’t understand the concept of using words to narrow down large categories of objects.”

Coworker: “F****** adjectives. How do they work?”

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