A Job Interview With The Fashion Police

When I am a teenager looking for my first job, the market is really bad; they are requiring two to five years of experience to be hired in “beginner jobs” like cashiering or waitressing. They are picking on every single thing they can to weed people out, as many are looking and few are hiring. The struggle is real.

I am finally called to interview for a salesperson position at the mall in a cookware shop. It is all fine until the woman interviewing me starts to tell me about the dress code.

Interviewer: “So, we have a semi-professional dress code here; you might be asked to change.” 

Me: “No problem. From what I’m wearing now, can you tell me if it’s doing it, or if some part should be kept for home?”

I’m not so confident about the clothing part, despite believing I’ve made a good attempt. 

I have no tattoos or piercings. I just have mascara and gloss for makeup. I’m wearing a pair of black ankle winter boots with zips on the inner side and a mini belt-like strap going around, fancier plain black pants, a long-sleeved blue button-down shirt, a small silver pendant with a blue stone, and a two-centimetre-wide black bracelet with a blue ribbon laced in a tiny bow matching the shirt color. 

Interviewer: *Sternly* “Well, the accessories have to go.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I kind of expected that. Better not wear anything that can get caught in anything, right?”

Interviewer: *Going up and down* “Yeah, and those boots definitely won’t do it.”

Me: “No worries. Indoor shoes are more appropriate to spend the day in.”

Interviewer: *Judging* “The shirt doesn’t really make it, either.”

Me: “Oh, so, just the pants?”

Interviewer: *Staring* “Hmm, yeah… but it would be better if you didn’t dye your hair black like that.”

I kind have been positive until this point, but I try to keep my thoughts positive; clearly she’s not giving me a feel for the dress code anymore but is still hopeful to give me a job.

Me: “I don’t dye my hair; it grows dark brown on its own.”

Interviewer: *Like it’s a revelation* “Oh! Then don’t wear those icy blue contacts; it’s a weird color combo.”

I don’t understand this because I clearly have prescription glasses on, and no one has ever mistaken my eyes for contacts before. Yes, they’re blue, but they’re ordinary, nothing so unnatural or unique. 

Me: “That’s just my eyes. If I had contacts on, the natural color would peek in the middle, especially if it was a darker color.”

Interviewer: *Not believing me* “Uh-huh. The glasses aren’t looking so good, but if you must.”

I don’t bother answering.

Interviewer: “Anyway, we’ll call you back if anything…”

Blah, blah, blah, closing speech…

I don’t know what her problem was, but I don’t think my fashion choices were the problem there. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t get that job.