A Jacuzzi Floozy

(The hotel I work for is running a special through an online coupon site for February: a jacuzzi suite with champagne, chocolates, and Valentine’s card set up for the guests. It’s all going for over a hundred dollars less than our regular room rate. A woman checks in after three pm; a little after nine, she storms down to the front desk.)

Guest: “I need to switch rooms immediately.”

Me: “I’m sorry, was there something wrong with the jacuzzi?”

(If there’s an issue with the tubs or the electronics in the room or anything else, we’re instructed to switch guest rooms right away and note the issue for housekeeping and maintenance.)

Guest: “No, it was fine. I didn’t realize the room was so small when I booked it. Now I don’t have any space to do my work.”

(The jacuzzi suite is actually quite big, the tub taking up only one side of the room, leaving enough space for a California King bed, computer desk, dresser, etc., but I try to work with her.)

Me: “Well, it’s quiet in the lobby; you could just push all the tables together to give you enough space to work.”

Guest: *hisses* “You expect me to handle confidential paperwork in public?!”

(I look over her shoulder at the completely empty lobby.)

Me: “Ma’am, there’s no one in the lobby, and I’m fairly certain if someone comes down to grab a cup of coffee, they’re not going to be looking over your shoulder. But if you want, there are tables in the pool area. It’ll close in an hour, but since you won’t be swimming, I can keep it open for you. That should private enough for what you need.”

Guest: “You rude little witch. I want to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing we can do. The manager isn’t here, and even if he was, you’ve been in the room for over six hours and have used the jacuzzi. The size of the room is not a valid issue when it comes to reassigning rooms. We cannot resell your room because the housekeeping staff has gone home, and if I move you to a business suite, I will have to charge you the price difference of the room.”

Guest: “This is outrageous! I didn’t know the size of the room when I booked it!”

Me: “There were pictures of the room on the website, along with photos of the champagne and chocolate arrangements we offered for the coupon deal. I’ve given you options to allow you to get your work done, while still enjoying your suite. I could move you to a business suite, but I will have to charge you for it.”

Guest: “Get your manager on the phone right now! I’m not working in the lobby or the pool, where anyone can see the sensitive nature of my work, and I’m not paying for a new room! Call your manager now!”

(I called and told him the situation, but instead of instructing me to follow HIS hotel policy, he told me to go ahead and switch the rooms free of charge, because he was worried she’d leave a bad review on the coupon site about her stay. Despite shaking from anger and embarrassment, I had to grin while cutting the now smugly self-satisfied guest keys to the business suite and telling her to enjoy her stay in her new accommodations. And then he wondered why I quit several weeks later. Oh, and the guest STILL left the hotel a nasty review.)