A.I.: Alarming Idiocy

(I pick up a phone call transferred from our operator and hear what’s clearly a kid on the phone with parents in the background.)

Me: “Thanks for calling Burbank [Store], How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, my video game system stopped working. I want you to fix it.”

Me: “Well, what seems to be the problem with the system?”

Customer: “There are red lights on it. Is that those ‘rings of death’?”

Me: “The red lights are kind of an error message. When did purchase the system?”

Customer: “It’s, like, a year old.”

Me: “Did you purchase our protection plan?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, you’d have to contact customer service for that manufacturer to see if they would still cover the product.”

Customer: “Oh, I bought it at [Competitor]. Would I call them? Could they fix it? I don’t want to talk to the robots!”

Me: “Yeah, if you bought it at another retailer you should probably either contact them or the manufacturer–”

Customer: *interrupting* “I said no robots; I don’t want to talk to the robots!”

Me: “Okay… you can file a claim on the manufacturer’s website, or call the retailer you actually purchased the system from. There’s nothing I can really do for you if you didn’t purchase it through our store.”

Customer: *whining* “I don’t want to talk to the robots! I’ll have my mom call the robots.” *hangs up*

Me: “…”

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