A Humorous Intermission Position

(I am ushering for a theatrical production that is two hours long with no intermission. I repeat the run time and “no intermission” to everyone as I tell them where their seats are, since it is a long show and I want to make sure everyone knows what they’re in for.)

Patron: *seated near where I am standing* “So, it’s one hour, two intermissions?”

Me: “Oh! No, no, it’s two hours—”

(I realize he’s kidding and has probably heard me say the info dozens of times by now, so I burst out laughing. A few minutes later, I start closing the doors so that the show can begin…)

Same Patron: “That was intermission, right?”

Me: *laughing* “Nope, still pre-show!”

(Then finally after the two -hour, no-intermission show, I open the doors to the theatre.)

Same Patron: “Now it’s intermission?”

Me: *grinning* “Sure! This can be intermission!”

(It had been a stressful night for other reasons, so I really appreciated this patron lightening my mood!)