A Humbling Slice Of Motherly Advice

(I am trying to give an inspiring speech to my five and seven-year-old boys.)

Me: “You guys, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise: you can be anything you want to be. You can be a police officer, a fireman, a sanitation worker, a doctor, a nurse, a lawyer, a carpenter, a scientist, an auto guy, a pilot, a dentist. You can do it if you put your heart into it. Work hard, and study hard. Always try to do your very best. You’re going to be the kind of ‘somebody’ you want to be.”

Five-Year-Old: “Anything I want to be?”

Me: “Yes. The sky’s the limit!”

Five-Year-Old: “Cool! Then I want to be a MOM when I grow up!”

Me: “Aww…”

(I melt at my son’s flattery.)

Me: “Sure you can! You want to give birth, love your kids, teach them to be good, have fun with them?”

Five-Year-Old: “No! I want to play Wii all day, sleep all day, eat whatever food I want—”

Seven-Year-Old: “—not cook, not clean the bathroom, let dad do the dishes—”

Five-Year-Old: “—use bathroom words but never get grounded—”

Seven-Year-Old: “—and never get in trouble!”

Five-Year-Old: “I want to be a mom!”

Seven-Year-Old: “Me too!”