A Holiday Haggle For Half The Happiness

My twin brother has always had a different mindset from the rest of the family. We eventually found out that it was a mix of autism and some Slytherin-esque cunning (taking things literally and trying to make opportunities from everything).

One Christmas Eve evening, as our mom was putting us to bed, I was talking about how it was hard to sleep when I was so excited.

Mom: “Well, you have to try. The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner the morning comes.”

Brother: “So, if one person decided to stay up all night, the morning would be postponed for everyone?” *To me* “Promise to give me half your presents, or I’m staying up all night.”

I cried. Mom admonished him while trying to explain what she really meant, but my brother kept countering, arguing, “Either I get half the presents, or I get none; the choice is his.”

He grew up to be a banker… Go figure.