A Heathen Is For Life, Not Just For Christmas

(It’s Christmas time, and I’m doing some overtime to help my boss and a female co-worker put up some decorations around the store when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Can I have that tinsel?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am, this isn’t for sale. It’s just for the store. We’ve got some decorations for sale in the next aisle if you want me to show you?

Customer: “No. I want that one, are you even Christian?”

Me: *taken aback* “Uh, no ma’am, I’m not.”

Customer: “I thought so, you don’t deserve these decorations…you’re a heathen!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my boss wouldn’t be happy with me giving away the decorations he’s already paid for.”

Customer: “I bet he wouldn’t be happy knowing that he’s got a heathen as an employee! I bet you’re one of them gays as well right?”

Me: *stunned* “Um…actually…”

Customer: *shouting* “You’re going straight to hell! I bet the rest of the staff don’t even know about your little secret!”

(Just then, my coworker walks up to us.)

Female Coworker: “Hey babe, can you help me set up the tree?”

(The customer turns white, and practically runs out of the store.)

Female Coworker: “Man, that woman was a b****!”

(We set up the tree and she asks me out afterwards, we’ve been dating for nearly seven months!)