A Heated Debate Of When Coffee Stops Becoming Coffee

(I’m working the first register while my coworker is taking a coffee order.)

Customer: “—and I want it EXTRA, EXTRA, EXTRA hot.”

(We can only heat it so far until the milk boils, so I wander over to see what coworker has written. She’s written, “Milk 100+ degrees)

Me: *whispering* “Hey, do you reckon he wants his coffee hot?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?”

Me: *laughs* “But in all seriousness, the milk will boil.”

Coworker: “I know, but it’s what he asked for, so I’ll take it as high as I can without boiling it.”

(I notice she’s written down that he wants five sugars, but I say nothing and go back to my work.)

Customer: “Y’know, this is my second favorite place to buy coffee. If the other place isn’t open I come here. It’s good coffee, but I have to have it really hot and really sweet, or I can’t drink it!”

Coworker: “Well, I got the milk to 95; if I keep going it’ll boil and curdle, so I can’t heat it anymore.”

Customer: “Okay, it’ll do.” *takes it and leaves*

Me: “FIVE SUGARS?!”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “How does he know it’s good coffee if he dumps so much sugar in it?! Although, he probably needs to; sounds like his ‘extra, extra, extra hot’ coffees burned his taste buds off years ago!”