A Hearty Lunch

(We’re in the car, heading out to work. My boyfriend’s just realized he’s forgotten his phone.)

Boyfriend: “D***! I’ll just be a moment.”

(He runs inside to get his phone, and quickly comes back.)

Me: “So you haven’t forgotten anything else? You got your wallet?”

Boyfriend: *checks pockets* “Hang on; I’ll get it.”

(He runs back inside the house to get his wallet.)

Me: “Right. You got everything? Both arms? Legs? Couple ears and a nose?”

Boyfriend: “Yep, yep, yep, oh wait!” *he gets really panicky, then calms down* “Oh, it’s okay; you’ve got my heart.”

Me: “…I honestly don’t know what to say to that.”

(Three minutes later…)

Boyfriend: “I forgot my lunch.”