A Gift To Make You Purse Your Lips

| Friendly | December 22, 2016

(My best friend at the time was also my coworker, and our office had a secret Santa exchange. We were to write one thing that we really wanted, and the gifter would get it. I wrote that I wanted a Christmas ornament. The price limit was $10, which I was fine with.)

Best Friend: *to me* “I’m your secret Santa! Open mine!”

(So I open it and I’m terribly excited, only to find… a purse. A very ugly purse with a zebra print and green fringe. And I don’t use purses.)

Me: “…”

Best Friend: “What? You need one!”

Me: “Why didn’t you just get the ornament that I asked!”

Best Friend: “Oh, you don’t need that! You do need a purse! I can’t stand the sight of you, with a wallet! Those are for men!” *flips hand* “Well?! You can at least thank me. I’m so thoughtful eh?”

Me: “Thank you.”

Best Friend: “But why don’t you like it?! It cost $20!”

Me: “Because I don’t like purses! You know that!”

Best Friend: “But you NEED one! You need one, you need one, you need one!”

(She spent the rest of the day making loud comments on how ungrateful I was. Since then, I found a better best friend and the ugly purse was donated to a thrift store — where it still is, because no one will buy it…)

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