A Fox, A Chicken, And A Sack Of Grain

I work from home. My husband is a forester and works for his oldest brother. One day, he calls me on his way home from work in the next town over.

Husband: “[Brother-In-Law] wants to pick up a pizza from [Local Pizza Place] to take to Grandma’s house, and I agreed to pay for it, but I can’t get the phone number on their website to work. Could you put the order in online?”

The order is simple — one medium combination pizza — so I quickly pull up [Pizza Place]’s website and place the order for pick-up through [Third-Party Ordering Service].

Me: “Okay, it’s under my name, it’s paid for, and it should be ready in about forty minutes.”

Husband: “Okay, thank you! By the way, do you want to just order our usual from [Pizza Place] on [Delivery App]?”

Me: “That does sound good! And theoretically…” *checks the app* “…it should get here just after you do!”

We hang up, and I order our usual — one extra-large Hawaiian and one medium pepperoni special — using [Delivery App].

About thirty minutes later, my husband comes home. We chat about our days, and after a bit, we’re interrupted by [Brother-In-Law] calling [Husband]. He’s at [Pizza Place], and the employees there are confused by the two separate orders under my name. I clarify the different services I ordered through and quickly shoot [Brother-In-Law] a text with the order number for his pizza, he hangs up, and we think that should be the end of it.

About a minute later, I get a notification that the driver for [Delivery App] has picked up my order and is on her way to my house. A minute after that, [Brother-In-Law] calls [Husband] again. As he listens, [Husband] face-palms, laughs, and apologizes several times.

At one point, I hear him say:

Husband: “So, are you coming over here, then, or are you just going to order a new one?”

I can see where this is going. They hang up.

Me: “So… they sent all three pizzas with the [Delivery App] driver and [Brother-In-Law] is going to meet her here?”

Husband: “Yup!”

We share a laugh and then start to get out paper plates and napkins and such.

Now, MY phone rings, and I look down at the caller ID.

Me: “Oh, boy. Now [Pizza Place] is calling me.”

I answer, and it’s the owner. (My husband and I went to high school with him, but as I’ve since married and changed my name, I’m not sure he knows who he’s talking to.)

Owner: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Owner: “Hi. This is [Owner] at [Pizza Place]. Your brother was just here picking up a pizza, and we had some confusion with the two separate orders, and I think we told him the [Delivery App] driver had taken his pizza, but… we just found it. We thought it had already gone out, but we had two medium combinations, and one of those went out with a [Delivery App] driver. Your brother’s pizza is sitting here on top of the oven keeping warm. I think you’ll need to call him and let him know it’s here.”

The owner then begins showering me with apologies and explaining how the mix-up occurred. I’m doing a terrible job at holding in the giggles. [Husband] comes over, a case of the giggles threatening to overwhelm him, too.

Husband: “Do I need to call [Brother-In-Law] and send him back?”

I just nodded helplessly, feeling my face turn red as I tried not to die of laughter.

After assuring [Owner] that it was totally okay — and apologizing myself for not realizing the confusion the two separate orders could cause — I hung up the phone. [Husband] completed his final call to his brother at the same time, and we collapsed into gales of laughter together.

Then, we went to the kitchen window to watch for our [Delivery App] driver; we were curious whether the second medium combination pizza had been swept up with our two pizzas.

It hadn’t, so we can only assume all FOUR pizzas got to where they needed to go!