A Flash Flush

I’m a new hire, talking with a coworker, when the store radios go off.

Radio Employee: “[Manager] required in [Department].”

Radio Manager: “I’m having my picture taken. Be there in five.”

Me: *To my coworker.* “Hey, that’s like the fifth time I’ve heard that. Why are so many people getting their picture taken?”

Coworker: “Oh! Ha! I guess no one told you the code. It means they’re taking a crap.”

Me: “That… is a very strange way to word it.”

Coworker: “It’s so any customer within earshot of the radio doesn’t know what we’re really saying. We used to use the phrase “I’m in the back office” but then a customer once complained that the automatic flush sensors in the bathroom were taking photos of people.”

Me: “The… what?!”

Coworker: “Yeah, some old guy thought we were taking pictures of our customers taking dumps. He would not be convinced otherwise, and he even called the police on us. The police just ended up escorting him out, hopefully to somewhere that helped him. Anyhoo, ever since then we’ve used the code “getting my picture taken” to let everyone else know we’re on the throne.”

Luckily, I never had a job important enough to need a radio, so I never had to use that phrase. I did hear it often enough, however, that I was worried for the bowels of my coworkers.