A Fish Out Of Agua

(We’re in Puerto Rico for the day on vacation. None of us speak Spanish, though my father fancies himself an expert because he read a ‘learn Spanish on your own’ book several years ago that focused on Castilian Spanish.)

Father: *snootily* “They don’t speak proper Spanish here!”

Mother: “He’s been here five minutes and he’s already telling the natives how to speak their language.”

(A few hours later, we see a sign my sister is curious about.)

Sister: “Hey, Dad, what does this sign say?”

Father: “I don’t know.” *walks away*

(He couldn’t even translate the first word: ‘agua,’ meaning water!)