A Few Cards Short Of A Deck

(I work for an alcoholic beverage company that has a staff shop at head office. The shop has recently started a scheme whereby all the retired employees on the pension scheme have been sent cards with their pension number on them and in invitation to buy at the store. Many of them have been calling the store to have the scheme explained and I am dealing with one such customer’s enquiry over the phone, and am rather eager to get the call finished as it has already dragged on a bit.)

Customer: “So, when I come down to head office do I need anything to prove that I’m a pensioner?”

Me: “Yes. All you need to do is bring along your [Company] card that you ought to have been sent.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one of those…”

Me: “That is strange. Mayb—”

Customer: “Do you think I should call head office and ask them to send me a card?”

Me: “Well, yes, I suppose that would be your best option.”

Customer: “…though I do have this card that came with the newsletter with my pension number printed on the [Company] card…”

Me: “Ah! In that case that’ll be the one you need. A white card, yes?”

Customer: “Oh… no, no it’s not white.”

Me: “Hmm, well…”

Customer: “It really is more of a cream colour.”

Me: “…”