A Fart From The Heart, Part 5

(My husband and I are newlyweds. This conversation takes place in the bedroom.)

Husband: “Have you ever seen me light a fart on fire?”

Me: “No… Why?”

Husband: “I feel a good one coming… Do you have any matches or a lighter?”

Me: “I think there’s a lighter in the junk drawer in the kitchen. It’s one of the long ones so I don’t have to get my hand close to the fire.”

Husband: *gets lighter, comes back* “How do you work this…” *lets out long fart* “Aww, man, I wasted it!” *looks disappointed*

Me: *laughing* “Why did no one ever tell me that marriage meant staying up late to watch your husband try to light a fart on fire?”