A Ditz Of A Different Color

My sister has always been a bit ditzy — she even proclaims that she’s living proof that “blonde is not just a hair color” — but ironically, one of her ditziest moments ever comes about the night after she decides to dye her hair blonde while we are in junior high school.  

We live out in a semi-rural area, so we have to wake up at six in the morning in order to be showered, dressed, fed breakfast, and ready to catch the school bus at seven. One morning, my sister shakes me awake with the following announcement:

Sister: “We overslept! It’s six-thirty! You gotta hurry or we’ll miss the bus!”

Me: *Groggy* “But… I didn’t hear the alarm…”

Sister: “There was a power outage! It shut off the alarm! Get in the shower!”

Still groggy and fuzzy, I get in the shower while my sister hurries to whip up some breakfast and get us ready to go. Then, she sticks her head into the bedroom where my mom and stepdad are asleep.

Sister: “[Stepdad]! You overslept! Get up; you’ll be late for work!”

Stepdad: *Wakes up* “[Sister], it’s twelve-thirty in the morning.”

Sister: “No, it’s not! The clocks are wrong! There was a power outage!”

Stepdad: “I’m looking at my watch.”

Sister: “It’s wrong; there was a power outage!”

Stepdad: “How is a power outage going to affect my watch?”

Mom: *Sniffs* “Are you… making pancakes?”

Sister: “Yeah, we gotta hurry and eat breakfast before the bus comes!”

Somehow, they finally manage to convince her that it isn’t even one in the morning and she has several hours before she has to catch the bus. Mom then finds me in the shower, still half-asleep.

Mom: “Your sister read the clock wrong. It’s twelve-thirty, not six-thirty. Dry off and go back to bed.”

Me: “Oh. No wonder it felt like I’d only been asleep for an hour.”

To this day, we still don’t know how my sister decided a power outage would affect every single clock in the house, even watches and battery-operated clocks. My stepdad’s explanation was that she dyed her hair blonde the night before and “the chemicals went straight to her brain.”