A Different Kind Of Pill Popping

It’s late in the evening, and most of the residents of my group home have gone to bed. As a result, things have quieted down. …Except that I hear a loud, repeated sound I can’t quantify. Is something hitting the tile floor? Someone snapping a belt over and over?

Me: “What IS that sound?!”

Coworker: “I don’t know. I can’t see anything from where I’m sitting.”

I go to investigate. I find the source of the sound in the staff office, where my boss is popping empty bubbles from pill cards we use to distribute medication to our residents. (Each dose is in its own little bubble. The cards are manufactured to hold up to thirty doses each, but not every card will be completely full, leaving many empty pockets that can essentially be “popped.”)

Boss: *Sees me and starts laughing.* “It’s better than bubble wrap!”

She offers me the card she is currently in the middle of popping.

Me: “It’s loud and distracting, is what it is! I’m trying to read!”

Boss: “It’s my dopamine trigger! I had a bad day yesterday!”

Me: “Well, your dopamine trigger is spiking my cortisol levels!”

Boss: “You work here! Your cortisol levels are already high all the time!”

Me: “THAT’S WHAT WHISKEY IS FOR!”