A Customer Face Off
A woman walks up to my checkout counter and places a box of ladies’ underwear down. I reach out to scan it, and she says:
Customer: “No, I’m not here to buy it. I’m here to complain.”
Me: “Oh, well, complaints and customer queries can be handled at the customer service desk. I’m just a cashier—”
Customer: *Ignoring me.* “The women on these boxes! They’re all too… sexy! And they all have faces!”
Me: “I’m gonna call my manager.”
Customer: “I caught my son staring at the boxes!”
The manager arrives while she’s in mid-rant.
Customer: “All the ladies in their underwear on these boxes! They all have these faces where they’re trying to look seductive! My son is looking at them every time I come in to shop, and I don’t like it!”
Me: “Ma’am, my manager is right over there—”
Customer: “—you should get rid of the faces. They’re far too sexy with the faces!”
The store manager has arrived now, too, for reasons I don’t know (maybe they had nothing else to do except investigate why my line isn’t moving?).
Manager: *Jumping in.* “Ma’am. I’m the manager. I hear you have a complaint about the bra boxes.”
She repeats her complaint about “faces”.
Manager: “I can, of course, pass your complaint on to the manufacturer, but if you don’t mind me asking, how old is your son?”
Customer: “Thirteen.”
Manager: “Then I’m afraid no complaint, and no changing of packaging, not even God himself, is going to be able to help. No force in this universe is going to stop a teenage boy from looking at ladies in their underwear.”
Customer: “Just get rid of the faces!”
Manager: “Trust me, ma’am, he’s not looking at the faces.”
Customer: “Isn’t there someone higher up I could talk to? I don’t want him looking at ladies at all!”
At this point, the store manager pounces.
Store Manager: “I’m the store manager, ma’am. I understand you want your son to be gay?”
I wish I could have focused on the shouting that followed, but sadly, I had to talk to my neglected customers.
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