A Criminal, Social, And Linguistic Rollercoaster

I got mugged once in Glasgow as a young teenager. This is how the conversation went.

Mugger: “I’m going to need whatever money you have on you, kid.”

Me: “I’ve got a £20 note but need it to get the train home.”

Mugger: “How much is your ticket?”

Me: “‘Bout £8 or £9.”

Mugger: “Oh, that’s all right. I’ve got change.”

He took my £20 and gave me £10 back. Not a bad mugging by any means.

I have translated from Glasweigen regional dialect to Queen’s English for all you folks not lucky enough to be born in the central belt of Scotland.

The Glaswegian version is below.

Mugger: “Haw, mate, aye, goanie gi us yer money!”

Me: “Aw, whit, nae danger pal, ave only goat 20 quid, and that’s fir the train haime, ken?”

Mugger: “You no buy a return?”

Me: “Naw, me mam dropt me aff this mornin’.”

Mugger: “How much’s yer train haime, then?”

Me: “Dunno, ‘bout 8 or 9 quid. Bloody dear like.”

Mugger: “S’aright, pal, ave goat change here.

He whaps oot a 10 spot.

Me: “Eh, all right, then.” *Exchanges money* “Yer patter’s pish, by the wa.”