A Credit Score As Strong As Jell-o

(I work at a call center selling TVs. All customers have to have a credit check performed to see what they’re eligible for as far as equipment. One caller has terrible credit, so the price is higher. I leave her my office number if she changes her mind. She calls me back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I be of assistance?”

Caller: “Hi. I called yesterday and the price was stupid high. I finally got the letter in the mail telling me about all the free upgrades and s***. I want the better price now.”

Me: “That sounds great! Can I ask, did they run your credit score yesterday?”

Caller: “Nuh uh.”

Me: “Not a problem. So I can land you the best offer, let’s knock that out real fast.”

Caller: “I already gave all this information! Why the h*** do I have to give it again?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I thought you hadn’t run a credit check prior to our conversation.”

Caller: “Yes, I have! I just told you that! OPEN YOUR EARS!”

Me: “My mistake. When was the score checked?”

(I know when it was checked: yesterday, by me.)

Caller: “Jesus F****** Christ! I want a manager on the phone!”

Me: “Ma’am, a manager will tell you the same thing. I’m only trying to make sure we get you the best possible deal.”

Caller: “Fine…” *provides information*

Me: “Based on what you told me, this will be your price.”

(It’s something high because her credit is awful.)

Caller: “That’s the same price as yesterday! This is false advertisement! I’m going to sue!”

Me: “Ma’am, on the bottom left of your advertisement, you’ll see that all prices are based off a credit score.”

Caller: “That doesn’t matter! The flyer says I get a free upgrade and a better DVR!”

Me: “Upgraded from what exactly, ma’am?”

Caller: “From what you’re giving me today! That’s why I called! Now give me the f****** deal!”

(Dumbfounded, I figure I might as well argue insanity with insanity.)

Me: “I’m a big fan of green jello.”

Caller: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I WANT A MANAGER!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Please hold.”

(I explain everything to our team lead and he gets on the phone.)

Team Lead: “Hi, ma’am. This is [Name]. How can I be of service?”

Caller: “You need to get your people in order. They don’t know s***!”

Team Lead: “Ma’am, are you saying you dislike green jello? Because we just won’t tolerate that.”

Caller: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT!?”

Team Lead: “An advertisement in the mail doesn’t change your credit score. That’s what my team member was telling you but you continued to act like a child. Do not call our department again unless you’re willing to be more polite to my team.”

Caller: “Y’all are trying to play me! I’m getting my momma. She’ll straighten you out!”

Team Lead: “I bet, considering the great job she did with you.”