A Completely Different B****

(My sister is over for the holidays and complaining about her boyfriend who hasn’t talked to her in two days. She knows that he’s been talking to other people so she’s pretty pissed. Note: He’s in another country.)

Sister: “Oh, my f***ing gosh, I swear I’ll go over there and beat the crap out of him! I f***ing hate him so much!”

(The dog comes over for a pet.)

Sister: *in a cutesy voice* “Aww herro pwetty girl! I wuv you!”

Me: “…that change in attitude.”