A Common Theme Of Stupidity

| USA | Working | March 12, 2014

(In the bagel shop where I work, one of my coworkers can be a bit oblivious to things. She is also madly in love with a certain celebrity. There are no customers in the shop.)

Coworker #1: “Don’t you think [Celebrity] and I would be great together? All of my friends agree that we would make a great couple.”

Me: “Um, well, I’ve only seen him in movies. I’ve never read interviews with him or anything, so I don’t know what he’s like personally, but I’m sure you do. Do you guys have a lot in common?”

Coworker #1: “Oh my god, yes! We have so much in common!”

Me: “Cool. Like what?”

Coworker #1: “Well, we both like music…”

(I wait expectantly for her to elaborate, but she seems to be done.)

Me: “Yup! You sound perfect for each other.”

Coworker #1: “I know, right?”

(She goes into the back. Coworker #2 has overheard our conversation.)

Coworker #2: “Hey, [My Name], do you like music? Because I like music.”

Me: “I LOVE music. Oh, my god!”

Coworker #2: “We have so much in common! Do you realize we’re wearing the SAME shirt right now?”

Me: “You’re right! It’s like destiny!”

Coworker #2: “And are you wearing SHOES right now?”

Me: “I am wearing shoes! I wear shoes all the time!”

Coworker #2: “Oh, my god. Me too!”

Me: “We’re perfect for each other!”

(At this point, Coworker #1 has come back and seems like she might have overheard. I feel guilty, until Coworker #2 goes into the back.)

Coworker #1: “You know, I never realized this before, but you and [Coworker #2] have a lot in common…”

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