A Comedy Of Errors

(My boyfriend and I have just started dating. It is a bit awkward and relaxed at the same time, since we have spent about ten years being buddies. One day he decides to be romantic and take me on a road trip to a really nice old restaurant, sort of a back-roads place, hard to get to, lots of pretty scenery; which he knows I like.)

Me: “Babe, are you sure you know where you’re going?”

Boyfriend: “Uh… why?”

Me: “Well, you’re driving the wrong way down a one way street.”

(We finally find our way again, and eventually find the restaurant.)

Me: “It looks really dark. It is closed?”

(It turns out it wasn’t just closed for the night, but it had closed permanently. The day before.)

Boyfriend: “Could this get any worse?”

(Then the allergies hit and my boyfriends eyes start running and his nose gets stuffed up. He has a sneezing fit, and a huge, bloody tinged, lumpy booger flies out his nose, ricochets off the steering wheel, and lands smack on my forehead, while his next sneeze plasters the steering wheel with snot.)

Me: *laughing hysterically* “BWAHAHAHAHAHA.”

Boyfriend: *purple with embarrassment* “Not… one… word!”

(We start driving back. About a block before he gets to my house to drop me off, the car runs out of gas. I have to push it to my house for him to park while his mom buys some gas.)

Boyfriend: “Just kill me now.”