A Colorless Apocalypse

(The zombie apocalypse has started and my office building has been over-run. A coworker and I are in the stairwell near the emergency exit. We want to make a break for it but are deliberating who gets to open the door and check if it’s clear of zombies. I am black, and my coworker is white.)

Me: “Okay, check if it’s clear.”

Coworker: “No way! You check!”

Me: “I can’t check. I have to be extra careful now.”

Coworker: “What do you mean?!”

Me: “Seriously? You don’t know that the black guy always dies first?”

Coworker: “That’s just some stupid cliche!”

Me: “Do you even watch The Walking Dead?”

Coworker: “Of course.”

Me: “We had T-Dog, who surprisingly survived until season three, before he’s killed saving Carol. No worries, as then we’re introduced to Oscar in the prison, but he’s quickly dispatched in the battle with Woodbury. But again, we’re introduced to Tyreese, who I admit is still alive, but mainly because another black man, Bob Stookey, turned up and got himself killed in the meantime, but I think it’s just a matter of time for poor ol’ Tyreese.”

Coworker: “That doesn’t mean that–”

Me: “Z-Nation. The lead black guy is killed in the first episode.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but–”

Me: “Land Of The Dead. The lead villain zombie is a black guy.”

Coworker: “Fine, but–”

Me: “Night Of The Living Dead. Black guy dies.”

Coworker: “Ah hah! Got you there! In Night Of The Living Dead, the black guy isn’t killed by the zombies.”

Me: “Hmm, you’re right.” *eyes narrow* “He’s shot by the white guy…”

(There is an awkward silence.)

Coworker: “I’ll just check this door then, shall I?”