A Chip Off The Old Block

I’m doing some renovation and home improvement work on a client’s house. The client is the wife in a couple, and she’s lovely. The husband… not so much.

Client’s Husband: “Why haven’t you painted the door frame?! It’s in the brief!”

Me: “The brief also says that’s one of the last jobs to do. The door frame is metal and winter has just finished. We’ll need to wait until warmer weather, as painting the metal at near freezing will cause the paint to chip.”

Client’s Husband: “I want it done now! It looks ugly!”

Me: “Your wife okayed the schedule and—”

Client’s Husband: “This is my house too! Just do it!”

I quickly type up an email on the iPad in my van and show it to him.

Client’s Husband: “What’s this?!”

Me: “Electronic contract. When, not if, but when the paint on this door frame cracks and chips when the weather warms up, I will expect to be paid a second time if you want me to come out and fix it.”

Client’s Husband: “You’re being serious?!”

Me: “I take time being wasted seriously.”

He takes a five-second look at the contract and then storms away, telling me to get on with whatever I was doing before, just as the wife gets home from work and pulls into the driveway in her car.

Wife: “Oh dear, that looked fraught. Is my husband being a c***y little dingus again?”