A Cereal Killer Of Returns

I work for a local family-owned grocery store, working at the service desk, the only place where returns can be processed. A man comes in the door and approaches me carrying a box of raisin cereal. He holds the box up.

Customer: “Can I return this?”

For health reasons, we currently have a no-return policy once something goes out the door, so I advise him as such, apologetically.

Customer: “Then, can I exchange it?”

Me: “Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Well, no. I bought it a week ago.”

Me: “Sir, what was unsatisfactory about it that you want to exchange it?”

Customer: “There weren’t enough raisins. There were only like five in the whole box!”

Me: “Sir, how did you determine how many raisins were in the box?”

Customer: “My wife and kids poured it out into bowls and found out when we ate it.”

The customer tips the box over and shakes it out in front of me to show it’s empty. The bag isn’t even in it.

Me: “Soooo, you already ate it?”

He responds completely matter-of-factly and in a slightly irritated tone.

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Wait, so you want us to dispose of your empty box, and then you want a box of cereal for free?”

He looks at me puzzled.

Customer: “Well, yeah. There were barely any raisins in it.”

Me: “Sir, this would be a manufacturer complaint, but my manager is right here. Let me just double-check.”

She heard everything and shakes her head and mouths “noooo” to me.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we aren’t in the practice of giving away free product except when donating to local events or charities, but you can contact the manufacturer and see if you have better luck. I hope you have a good day.”

He walked away grumbling and shaking his head, realizing his attempt at getting free stuff had failed miserably.