A Catalogue Of Complaints
I work in a large clothing store that sends out catalogs to customers on the mailing list. A woman wheels in two huge bags and a few taped-up boxes on a flat cart. It looks less like a return and more like she’s moving house.
Me: “Hi… there? What can I help you with today?”
Customer: “Returns.”
She starts unloading coats, dresses, shoes, etc. They’re all still in the plastic they were delivered in. It’s obvious these are all items ordered and delivered from the catalog.
Me: “…All of these?”
Customer: “My sister passed. She ordered from you for years. We cleared out a whole bedroom. I want refunds.”
Me: “I’m very sorry for your loss. Let me start scanning and see what’s in the system.”
I begin. A few items pull up instantly. These are recent orders, so easy refunds. Then I hit the older pieces and hit the dreaded error tone.
Me: “Some of these are quite old. If they’re no longer in our catalog or sales history, the system can only issue a nominal credit.”
Customer: “That’s ridiculous. She paid full price. I want full refunds.”
Me: “I understand, but if we don’t have a record or resale value, we can only process the default amount.”
Customer: “Then you’d better find the record.”
For the next hour, I keep scanning. Half the items don’t just predate recent catalogs; they predate the current inventory system. This means some of these go back over a decade. We issue token refunds where that’s all the system allows.
She watches every line like an auditor.
Customer: “Five dollars? This coat cost over a hundred.”
Me: “I don’t doubt it, but it’s no longer in our system, and it can’t be resold, so the policy is—”
Customer: “—Your policy isn’t my problem.”
My manager has come down to help me scan, as well as take over repeating my lines about why we can’t give her a full refund. She takes what refunds she can on the day, but vows to call our Customer Service line to get this “sorted”.
That Customer Service line also goes through to us, so… yay. Over the next few weeks, she calls us repeatedly. Every time it’s the same demand:
Customer: *On phone.* “I want the rest of my money. You people are stealing from my dead sister!”
She calls so many times that the leadership creates a call script JUST for her account, so every agent gives the exact same explanation.
One afternoon, she calls while I’m on support rotation.
Me: “Thank you for calling Customer Care. How can I help?”
Customer: “I want the remainder of my refund. I’ve been calling for months. Someone here needs to fix this.”
Me: “Ma’am, all eligible refunds have been issued. The remaining items are outside our record retention period and have no resale value, so only the nominal credits apply.”
Customer: “So you’re just keeping the money? That’s unethical.”
Me: “We refunded everything we can verify and resell. The rest were garments that had been stored for years, some for over a decade. At that point, we’re not processing a sale, we’re processing a disposal.”
Silence.
Customer: “I still think you owe me.”
Me: “I understand you feel that way, but our role is to refund documented purchases, not assign new value to items after their lifecycle. There’s nothing further to adjust on this account.”
Another long pause.
Customer: “So that’s it?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
She exhales sharply, clearly gearing up for another round… then stops. For the first time, she has no new angle.
Customer: “Fine.”
She hangs up. It’s finally over!
We never hear from her again, and the script we built just for her stays in the system as a reminder of those long weeks we would tell new hires about in the years to come, about THAT customer…
