A Call Center Powered Entirely By Sarcasm

I work in a call center in the Philippines, working nights to take calls from customers in the USA. Usually we’re bound to stick to the script as much as possible, but since I am a manager and trainer in the center, I give myself a little bit more leeway if it’s appropriate to the call.

A caller and I are running through a tough technical issue. The software needs to reinstall, so we’re waiting a few minutes for that to happen, engaging in small talk while we do.

Caller: “So, where are you?”

Me: “I’m in the Philippines, sir.”

Caller: “Oh wow! That’s like, Asia, right? What time is it there?”

Me: “Two in the morning.”

Caller: “Craaaazy! It’s like, eleven in the morning here. Do you sleep in the day?”

Me: “Yes, I spend the day sleeping, running errands, playing my PlayStation.”

Caller: “Oh wow. Philippines gets PlayStation?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Caller: “How do you power it from those bamboo huts y’all live in? Do you all have electricity?”

Me: “Oh, actually, we get the kids in the village to pedal some bikes attached to wires to power the PlayStation. In fact, that’s how we’re powering this phone call now, so it’s best we wrap up the call soon. My kid is beginning to look tired.”

I don’t know if he believed me or not (I really hope not), but we did manage to wrap it all up in less than a couple of minutes. He thanked me a lot and even left me a five-star rating on the post-call optional survey!