A Busload Of Garbling

I’m a community nurse who works with patients who live at home. I get a call from a patient who is due to attend a clinic in my office that day.

Patient: *Garble garble* “—make it—” *Garble* “—bus is—” *Garble*

I can’t hear most of what he is saying because he is obviously standing next to an idling bus that is making too much noise.

Me: “[Patient], I can’t hear you. Can you move away from the bus a bit?”

The patient remains standing next to the bus.

Patient: *Garble garble* “—TOO LOUD, I CA—” *GARBLE* “—YOU!”

Me: “[PATIENT]! MOVE. AWAY. FROM. THE. BUS! I CAN’T. HEAR. YOU!”

I repeat this about four times at increasing volume.

Patient: *Mumble, mumble*

The bus sounds move away.

Patient: “What did you say? I was trying to say that I couldn’t hear you because of the bus.”

Me: *Face-palm*

When he arrived, he said he was trying to call to say he would be late because the bus had broken down.