A Burning Desire To Get Out Of Here

My gas light just came on, so I pull in to a gas station. I pull my car up to a pump, right behind the only other car at the pumps. In the car in front of me, there is a woman in the passenger seat. The man she’s with is using his debit card at the pump on the driver’s side, with the driver’s door open. He turns toward her to say something, and I notice a lit cigarette in his right hand! I hope for the best and try to assume he’s not a complete idiot and is about to put it out. Because I read stories on this site, though… I stay in my car and pretend to use my phone for a few minutes and observe… just in case.

No such luck. He is a complete idiot. He gets his debit info put in and grabs the pump handle with his thumb, pinky, and ring finger of his right hand… the same hand that has a lit cigarette between the middle and index fingers. He somehow manages to squeeze the handle before the nozzle makes it into the gas tank, causing gasoline to spray all over the side of his vehicle and the ground around him! He hollers a little just from the surprise of it, and somehow, nothing ignites, but I have never left a gas station so quickly in my life!

It is pretty clear that the woman in the car saw what had happened and realized the man was holding a lit cigarette as I am making my exit. She gets out of the car and rips into him, Jerry Springer style; she whoops him all the way around the four pumps. And she is at least six months pregnant!